Four Ways a Wise Husband or Wife Strengthens their Family:
Condensed from Chapter Two of, “Marriage and the Family: Wisdom’s Way” By Dr. Tim Pollock
Someone said that a great marriage is like a first rate hotel, expensive but worth it! Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate but through being the right mate. Another stated, a little more humorously, all marriages are happy, it is the living together afterward that causes all the trouble!
Four Ways a Wise Husband or Wife Strengthens their Family:
1. They are Fruitful Proverbs 14:1 “Every wise woman buildeth her house...” The word “house” is a common metaphor for the word, “family” or “children.” A wise woman or man is a builder of the house, that is, they help build a heritage. When a wife and husband are fruitful through having a good number of children, as the Lord gives them, then according to scripture - they are builders. God told Adam and Eve to, “...Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth” (Gen. 1:28) Clearly, God explains that He wants His children to be fruitful, or fertile as the common phrase would be today. You will notice God called them to “replenish.” I have never found a place in scripture where the command given to Adam and Eve 6,000 years ago to build a heritage was rescinded. Consider what would happen if a Christian couple was free to decide on their own, without God’s input, if they wanted children or not. It is likely that many couples, because of the expense involved of living in today’s world or the challenge of raising a larger family, would forego child rearing. There are many countries in the world today where that has happened. They are actually in what sociologists refer to as a “birth dearth.” Because of the lack of replenishing, places like France, Spain and even Russia, are now actually giving financial incentives for couples to have more children – go figure! Please notice, this verse doesn’t say just to replenish the earth. God very clearly says to His people that He wants them to multiply. The Hebrew word multiply means, “numerous…to increase exceedingly.” Simply stated, God wants us to have a bunch of children! What a huge impact godly generations can have, not only on their future family tree, but a region and even a nation. Over the years people have asked me this question, “How many children should Christians have in order to be obedient?” Let me relate a few wise words that men and women of God have shared with me over the years about that matter. I recall hearing a Christian Obstetrics Doctor say, “Really, I don’t know that the question is how many children should we have, but rather how many blessings do you want?" The president of Southeast Baptist Theological Seminary, Albert Mohler, Jr., stated, “There is a definitely a scriptural mandate for having children...the tenor throughout scripture is that children are a blessing. Should Christians be fruitful and multiply? Absolutely!” The late Dr. John R. Rice, widely traveled Bible teacher and Evangelist, used to say that, “The amount of children that a couple should have is based on how much faith God has given.” How much faith do you have? Faith for 6 sons and daughters...or 9...or how many? I will say then, these thoughts suggest that the decision is not merely a husband or a wife’s alone, but it is one that they should make together with God’s leading. We must understand, however, that there are circumstances where certain health matters and medical conditions that would make pregnancies unwise or unsafe. Michael Card’s song powerfully warns of the birth dearth, “Whenever Satan rears his head, there comes a tragic time If He could crush the cradle then that would stop the cross …the voice that speaks from Hell ‘Sacrifice your children and for you it will be well.’” 2. They are Faithful “Every wise woman buildeth her house...” (Proverbs 14:1) A builder is a “wise.” What is wisdom? A wise man or woman knows the word of God. It is not just studying the word; it is walking in the word. There is no amount of parental training that can take the place of a man or woman having a vibrant and personal spiritual life. Faithful men and women know how to get a hold of God in prayer. They serve joyfully in a Bible-believing church and make sure they tithe. As they grow God’s family, God builds their family. 3. They are Facilitating “Every wise woman buildeth her house...” (Proverbs 14:1) They are characterized by diligence and by industry. An example of this might be facilitating with home education. It is not like mom or dad has to be a full-time teacher and principal, but they certainly should be involved their children’s spiritual education. They are resourceful. Learning ways to reasonably reduce and control costs is also an important part of being a wise parent. I can tell you from personal experience what a blessing my precious and incredibly resourceful wife has been to our home. 4. They are Familiar “Every wise woman buildeth her house...” (Proverbs 14:1) Notice how that the mother builds her house. She knows it is her house and she is mindful, that it is her life. She realizes that somebody else is not going to come along and do the job. She is attentive to the basic physical, mental and emotional needs of her husband and children. There are four basic needs that every man has. The first one is food; guy’s love home-cooked meals. The second need is loving; there is a deep seated connection between his body and his spirit. The number three need he has is to feel successful. Even if that means that he is the best pencil sharpener in his company, he needs to feel successful! Number four; men need fun. Men love to play and goof around. I don’t know that there is a particular order for these actions but I can tell you for me, this nails it. What children need, and what a husband needs is a warm spirit, not a fussing, moody person. A mother should watch not only watch what is being said, but also how it is being said. There are certain things that only a mom can provide. A young mother went down to the nursery of the hospital, and found her young husband peering down at his little newborn baby who was asleep. The mother could tell that he was captivated. She was deeply touched and finally tiptoed behind him and slipped her arm into his and said, “Honey, what are you thinking about?” He said, “I cannot understand how they are able to make a crib like this for $89.95, it is amazing!” Moms see things differently than husbands...thank God! Homes need dads and moms.